Posted on: 23 October 2017
Years ago, open adoptions didn't exist. In fact, once the adoption was finalized, the birth parents melted into the background and had more further contact with their child, or the adoptive parents. A lot has changed since then. Now that open adoption is more acceptable, birth parents have more access to the children they put up for adoption. Open adoption doesn't come without its difficulties though. If you're in the process of adoption, and you've agreed to an open adoption, you'll need to be prepared for the long haul, especially if you're the adoptive parents. Here are three steps you can take to avoid problems in an open adoption.
When it comes to an open adoption, one of the most important things you can do is set boundaries. You want the birth parents to know how much you appreciate the sacrifice they're making. However, you also want to make sure that at the end of the day, you're not going to be stretching yourself beyond your capabilities. This is particularly important when it comes to contact. Boundaries are a good way to define the relationship between birth parent and adoptive parent. Be there for the birth parent, but don't go overboard. Make sure the birth parents know that there are things that you just won't do. Allowing the birth parents to overstep boundaries before the adoption will make it easier for them to feel comfortable doing that after the adoption.
Stick to the Agreement
During the adoption process, you and the birth parents will come to an agreement regarding contact visits, phone calls, and photographs. Make sure the agreement you reach is one that you'll feel comfortable keeping. For instance, don't agree to multiple contact visits throughout the year, and weekly photographs if you won't feel comfortable upholding that agreement. Once you do have your agreement in place, make sure you stick to it.
Seek Legal Advice
If you're going to be involved in an open adoption, it's important to prepare yourself for possible complications, especially since you'll be in contact with the birth parents for the rest of your child's life. If complications do arise, such as the birth parents demanding more contact visits, or extended family wanting contact with your child, you'll need to seek legal advice, such as from Granowitz, White & Weber Attorneys at Law. An experienced family law attorney can help you sort through the legal aspects of successfully navigating an open adoption.Share